Missing in action

It's kind of strange. Save for one brief hot flash (Four), my love life is, well, I think it's alive, but it might be braindead. And yet looking back, my life has no shortage of guys that were into me. Just a dramatic shortage of guys I was into. I remember one... no, two guys I was into. One of them was gay. The other seemed to have a problem with calling. Or texting. Or mailing. Or even talking to me on msn when I was right there. Instead, I got a via via sentiment of how bummed he was that I didn't hang at his favourite place every thursday. Gee, thanks.

In the category of guys that have been into me... Well, for instance, there's the Busguy. I don't mean the guy I travelled with for six years, I mean his friend from elementary. I think I talked with him three times or something, and somehow that was enough for him to 'realise his feelings'. I don't think Busguy and I ever talked after I figured, what the hell, I'll 'go steady' with you. Perhaps a bit strange when you think about it, but looking at my first try at a date, which took over a year of 'going steady' and ended things within a week, I'm not so surprised.

No, actually, I'm not sure I'm right to say I've never been into anyone back then. I had some serious doubts about loads of guys I hung out with. I just tended to come to the conclusion that I must be mixing up 'feelings' with regular friendship and left it at that. And hell, I've had the same discussion with myself about a few of my female friends. It's just part of the deal.

Instigator for these musings on love is, of course, my old friend Bubbles. She adressed me on msn, said, "Hey, there's this guy who used to like you, and I don't think you ever knew," and logged off.

... The hell?

Either you tell me or you don't. This is ridiculous. And the way this information comes my way, I'm not even sure I want to know. I never quite liked guys who'd tell a gossip before they tell the person it actually matters to. And I know Bubbles looks reliable, but I've experienced first hand that she'll use anything you tell her when she feels like it. Right now, I think she intends to use the info to prompt me into looking her up. (Okay, so I've been ignoring her a little. Over the past year. Since we left high-school.) But Bubbles, I refuse. I will not give in to your petty kindergarden games. I won't have any trouble sleeping just because someone in high-school used to like me that way. There won't be any time wasted pining over whoever it could be, or fishing around to find the answer.

It's probably some younger kid, anyway.


Think on it,
Erane