Fuck!

I'm seriously hating DSguy now.

I know I've been staying over way more often than would be considered normal. I know this guy has been integrated into every inch of my life. My study, my co-ed fraternity, all my roleplay groups, most of my larps... I know it's stupid to then eat and sleep over on a regular basis. I know all of this.

But bloody hell, does he have to use this closeness to then jeopardise everything?!

The way everybody seems to think we're a couple is on me, I get that, that's on me. But this 'buddy system' of helping each other actually attend classes is spiralling rapidly out of control. It doesn't help that it only motivates when at least one of us is already motivated. It certainly doesn't help that we're often sleeping at the same place, and oversleeping at the same time. But actually guilting me into staying longer when I'm already late and forcing me to miss a mandatory course is really crossing a line!

I hate him. I hate what he does to my studies. I already hate myself enough for being several years behind, but dammit, I was finally attending a second year class, and I actually enjoyed it. Now it's barely one week into the course and I've already allowed myself to sabotage my chances of success.

He turned off the alarm. He inspired me not to rush out when I woke barely 20 minutes late for the first course, to check where the mandatory course following this one would be. When I couldn't find it, I wanted to rush out anyway, to make it to the midbreak of the first course and ask the guidance councillors. He told me not to, that I'd be too late anyway. He bribed me with the promise that to make me breakfast if I'd stay. When afterwards I wanted to rush out, he stalled. Bloody adjusted a doodle to a game's release date, for crying out loud. I missed the end of class. I still don't know where the mandatory course is. It started half an hour ago, and I was at school without the slightest idea where to go next. I was on time, and I missed it anyway.

Yes, I need to be more determined. But this whole 'buddy system' is to motivate the other to go to classes and hand in assignments, not to skip them, and not to let slide on mandatory courses for bloody breakfast!

Fuck!

Think on it,
Erane